I AM SO FRUSTRATED WITH MY POOL!!!!
**warning... Ironman nerves are coming out... so I'm taking a sarcastic tone with this one! :)
I had a 3650 yard endurance speed workout tonight. How much did I get done? 2000 in 34 minutes. Grrrr....
Here's the story:
I got home from an easy and low key day at work and I decided to swim at night because the morning was getting too busy in the pool. Normally, the real swimmers go in the morning but it gets packed. At night it's pretty empty say for a few kids. I am spoiled and have a pool in my building so all I have to do is get on an elevator and hit lobby. Simple enough for a time strapped gal. BUT, there's 4 lanes and if the pool gets crowded they kick out the first person who was in there the longest after only 20 minutes. When you're training for an Ironman, 20 minutes is the warm up!
I go into the locker room, drop off my keys & dry clothes and from the get go I hear screams of children. Oh dear... at least one lane is filled with kids. I head up the stairs to the pool and there's kids and pool noodles EVERYWHERE. Screaming, misbehaving, loud, obnoxious, upper east side spoiled brats. UGH. And there's a swimming lesson going on. So two lanes down, the third lane has an older woman in it but she gets out. I grab a kickboard and jump in the 4th lane.
I start my warmup which consisted of a 300 swim, dodge pink pool noodle, 200 kick that I turned into a 100 kick, dodge small child in my lane, 6x25 FAST, dodge blue pool noodle, 100 swim, dodge pool ball. After that nonsense I got into the meat of the workout, skipping a 100 kick and 6 more 25's FAST. I figured I could mix in some of the warm up in between my main sets if the pool calms down.
While I'm in the middle of my warm up, a hairy dude in a speedo gets in the last free lane. He decides it would be fun to "race" me every 1 length to my 6 lengths. This was quite annoying 'cause every time I took a breathe I saw hairy speedo man flailing his arms trying to get to the wall before me. Gross.
Meanwhile, the swim lesson is over so another hairy older dude gets in that free lane. I continue on and start my main sets. I feel good and am NAILING my sets. I notice a younger dude waiting for a lane. Technically, since I got in first, I should be the first to get out. But today, I played dumb, aka stubborn ironman in training chick. I asked him if he wanted to share a lane - they are not as wide as a normal pool, but I felt bad. I'm not entirely evil. He politely said no so I kept going. Finally, hairy speedo dude left and kid got in.
The obnoxious, screaming, dodgeballing kiddos left and a woman got in that lane and proceeded to float on her back up and down the lane. No real swimming going on here... just floating.... up... and down....
I keep up with my sets and notice another woman waiting for a lane to open up. By now, I've been in the pool about 30 minutes. I played dumb again and was just gonna wait til the lifegaurd kicked me out. It was a newbie lifeguard and she didn't have the balls to say anything so I kept going. Then another old lady, whom I KNOW was just gonna float up and down the lane, came in. She didn't have much patience and went straight to lifeguard after about 2 milliseconds. I politely asked the younger woman waiting if she'd like to share a lane. She goes, "Are you done??" in a snotty voice. "No, I'm NOT done, but would you like to share?" "NO, not until you are done!" What a biotch. I cranked out 2 more FAST 75's then got out. The old lady was conspiring with the young, wet-behind-the-ears, lifegaurd on how to get me outta there anyway.
Seriously, don't these people know that I am training for a freakin' IRONMAN???? 2000 yards just isn't gonna cut it! I am so pissed off. Little old ladies who float up & down a lane DO NOT need their own lane. They can freakin' share, like ME, the ironman in training, was OFFERING!!!!
GRRRR!!!!
Only 26 days til Placid and I get kicked out of a pool because of 89 year old ladies and KIDS!
**disclaimer... I really don't hate kids or old ladies. One day I will be an old lady, but I darn well know, I will NOT be floating in a pool. I will be swimming my old lady ass off.
** no really, I didn't mean to offend older ladies, kids, hairy men, men who wear speedos or lifeguards. I swear! :)
** 26 days left... and my emotions are running high... can you tell???
** I'm gonna write a nice post about my solid long training weekend and a "try" at Simon's hobby.... being a passenger while he's a pilot in a very small Cessna!!
If only everyone thought like a triathlete, the world would be a much better place, right?
ReplyDelete26 days. YIKES! Whats the plan for this weekend?
When asked if you're done, you should reply, "That was my mile and a half warm-up. I have another mile to do. Wanna share?" She may think you're too bad-ass to mess with after that.
ReplyDeleteLOL I love this post. :) Too funny. I feel for ya, but it sounds like your pool sucks! haha
ReplyDelete'biotch' - had me LMFAO hahahahaha
LOL I only don't like kids and old ladies and hairy men in my pool. Other than that they are fine.
ReplyDeleteI only am training in the lake now (the pool is like 90 min away from me, one way) - although I don't need to worry about hairy men, old ladies, and kids in the lake, I DO have to beware of the occasional speedo sighting.
24 days Jill. 24 days.
Lets go drink some Ubu Ale instead ;) ha ha just kidding.